Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

In the article, â€Å"Why Chinese mothers are Superior, Chua describes her efforts to give her children what she describes as a traditional, strict â€Å"Chinese† upbringing. ] This piece was controversial. Many readers missed the supposed irony and self-deprecating humor in the title and the piece itself and instead believed that Chua was advocating the â€Å"superiority† of a particular, very strict, ethnically defined approach to parenting. In fact Chua has stated that the book was not a â€Å"how-to† manual but a self-mocking memoir. In any case, Chua defines â€Å"Chinese mother† loosely to include parents of other ethnicities who practice traditional, strict child-rearing, while also acknowledging that â€Å"Western parents come in all varieties,† and not all ethnically Chinese parents practice strict child-rearing. Chua also reported that in one study of 48 Chinese immigrant mothers, the vast majority ‘said that they believe their children can be â€Å"the best† students, that â€Å"academic achievement reflects successful parenting,† and that if children did not excel at school then there was â€Å"a problem† and parents â€Å"were not doing their job. ‘ Chua contrasts them with the view she labels â€Å"Western† – that a child’s self-esteem is paramount Amy makes it clear that the Asian kids are not born smart (For the most part, at least) It is hard work and training from the parents that shapes the children into these wonder kids. To prov e her point she lists up a number of things that her daughter were never allowed to do, such as: * Have a play date * Watch television or play computer games * Attend a school play. And so on.. Prohibitions that seems totally unreasonable for us â€Å"westerns†, as she loosely has named us. Throughout the text she covers several perspectives on parenting, which of a few I surprisingly agree on. Most of her viewpoints I deeply disagree with though and is far from my idea about proper parenting. Each time she lists up one of her perspectives, she compares the Chinese perspective with the Western perspective. She does this in a very subjective manner I think. She is very clever rhetorically. At some parts of the text, I actually caught my self being very close to getting dragged towards her side. I found it quite amusing to feel the power of pathos, but at the same time a bit daunting. According to Amy, the main difference between Chinese parents and Western parents is the way they see their children. Western parents believe that respecting their children’s choices, their individuality and always encouraging them to pursue their true passions is the way. In contrast, Chinese parents believe that preparing their children for the future, and.. Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior Children all over the world are raised in hundreds of different ways. Some parents strive to get a successful child, some are more casual, and some parents even relive their youth through their kids. China is on the running course with the rest of the world, and when it comes to creating masterminds, China is way ahead of everyone else. Should we follow, or should we simply go on the way we always have? In the article â€Å"Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior† by Amy Chua, we’re informed about the differences between the western way of raising children and the Chinese way.She is a Chinese mother herself, and from her perspective she explains how she has raised her children by excluding them from every social activity, both within school, but also during their extracurricular.Her opinions are pretty clear, and she doesn’t hesitate to express how much she thinks her way of raising children is better than the western way. She explains that not all Chinese mothers are l ike her â€Å"Conversely, I know some mothers of Chinese heritage, almost always born in the West, who are not Chinese mothers, by choice or otherwise†1.Throughout the article, she states that the western way of raising children is not as good as the Chinese, and even though some western parents think they’re strict towards their children, it’s nothing compared to the Chinese idea of strict â€Å"†¦even when Western parents think they’re being strict, they usually don’t come close to being Chinese mothers. (†¦ ) my Western friends who consider themselves strict make their children practice their instruments for 30 minutes every day. An hour at most.For a Chinese mother, the first hour is the easy part. It’s hours two and three that though†2. This proves that she truly thinks that she, and the rest of the hardworking Chinese mothers, are superior. Throughout the article, she also resorts to studies, that have examined the opi nions of 50 western women and 48 immigrated Chinese women, all mothers. â€Å"Almost 70% of the Western mothers said either that â€Å"stressing academic success is not good for children† or that â€Å"parents need to foster the idea, that learning is fun†Ã¢â‚¬ 3.The opinion of the Chinese mothers was a whole different story, though â€Å"By contrast, roughly 0% of the Chinese mothers felt the same way†4. Dragging these studies into her article doesn’t only make her reliable, she also argues very well for her case. The fact that she is a professor at Yale Law School also backs up her reliance. Being a professor for future lawyers usually requires being good at arguing, which she certainly is.In her article, she has included stories and experiences from her own life, in which she was also raised the Chinese way: Play to be the best, or don’t play at all. The first experience she explains is how her father used to call her names when she was disres pectful towards her mother â€Å"†¦ when I was extremely disrespectful to my mother, my father angrily called me â€Å"garbage†Ã¢â‚¬ 5, but she also states that she was never negatively affected by his name-calling â€Å"I felt terrible and deeply ashamed of what I had done.But it didn’t damage my self-esteem or anything like that†6. Throughout the article, she uses humor even though she seems to be a strict lady, that doesn’t waste time messing around â€Å"One guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave early. My friend Susan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the remaining guests†7. This shows that she does, even though it might be a bit hard to detect, have a sense of humor. She is pretty subjective in this article, since she assumes that every Chinese child is an A-class student.This is, though a bit of a paradox, since she in the start of the article wrote that not all Chinese mothers are the same â₠¬Å"If a Chinese child gets a B – which would never happen – there would be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion. †8. She is convinced, that a Chinese parent can treat their child in any way they want to, calling them names and forcing them to do things, they don’t want to do, whereas western parents can’t be critic at all or demand anything of their child without ruining the self-esteem of their child â€Å"Chinese mothers can say to their daughters â€Å"Hey fatty – Lose some weight.†By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of â€Å"health† and never mention the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image†9. In the modern world, it’s all about stepping up and making a name for yourself, no matter if you’re on Wall Street or a part of the underground music revolution. Many years ago, China’s economy was a wreck, peopl e starved and you had to be the best to survive.Call it Darwinism, but these people had to fight to be something, and I think this is how this Chinese way of raising children was created, and we learned from Amy’s article, that Chinese children are still raised this way. If a young child is brilliant at for example an instrument and a video is posted on Youtube and it goes viral and people hear about it, they sometimes ask â€Å"Is the kid Asian? †. Then people laugh, but it’s funny because it’s true!The Chinese, not to speak of rest of Asia, has conquered a big part of the market for manufactured products, and everywhere you go you see the stamp â€Å"Made In China†. No wonder if everyone in China raise their children like Amy does. When all this is said, I think children should be allowed to be children. It’s healthy for them to create social bands, but if they’re cut out from all social activity by their parents, they will automati cally become the outcast in their class.This is why we on American high schools always see white and black kids hang out together, but the Asians are usually for themselves. It’s natural to make boundaries for your child, the child should know the difference between right and wrong, but should definitely not learn that socializing is wrong. Maybe Amy didn’t get damaged in the process of being perfected by her parents, but I’m sure not every Chinese child is like her. We keep talking about leaving a better planet for our children – But how about leaving better children for our planet? Why chinese mothers are superior â€Å"Nothing is fun until you’re good at it.† That statement is the essence of the Chinese way of parenting. Studies show, that Chinese parents spend about 10 times as long as Western parents on academic activities with their children on a daily basis. But the question is, will all that discipline and those high expectations really create content and successful adults or does it in fact create children who will eventually resent their parents?The article was brought in The Wall Street Journal in 2011 and it is written by Amy Chua’s and from her point of view. She is a professor and a mother of two. She believes in the Chinese way of parenting – that discipline and expecting nothing less but perfection from your children, will eventually create happy and successful adults. In the article she argues for the reason why the Chinese upbringing is successful. She is married to a Westerner and therefore she has recognized three big differences in the Chinese and Western parental mind-sets.Amy believes these three differences to be the reason why Chinese children have a tendency to perform better at school. First of all, she thinks that Western parents are too concerned with their children’s self-esteem. As she says it: â€Å"Western parents are concerned about their children’s psyches. Chinese parents aren’t. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.† This statement is somewhat true. Western parents have a tendency to tiptoe around an issue; because they are petrified they might hurt their child’s feelings or damage their child’s self-esteem.If you expect your children to be fragile, they most likely will become fragile. If you on the other hand expect strength, and that they can handle the truth without getting a damaged self-esteem, they will be strong. But as always there must be moderation in all things. Amy Chua says: â€Å"That’s why the soluti on to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chinese parent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it.†Punishing your children for a disappointing performance at school by castigating the child is very far from the Western parental mind-set. If you are disappointed in your children, it is better to be honest with them and tell them you know they can do better and what you expect of them in the future. It is unnecessary to lambast your children. It seems, that in Amy Chua’s mind respect and fear is the same thing, which in my mind seems hopelessly out of date.You should not fear your parents; instead they should be the ones in whom you could always seek comfort and support. Amy Chua has a completely different mind-set on where children are in the social hierarchy, which is the next big difference between Chinese and Western upbringing.Amy Chua believes that the second big difference between Chinese and Western upbringing is, that Chinese parents believe their kids owe them everything. In this part she uses her husband as an example of what a Westerners view is: â€Å"It’s parents who foist life on their kids, so it’s the parents’ responsibility to provide for them. Kids don’t owe their parents anything.†This is an opinion most Westerners share. It is a culture difference. It is  not only the Chinese culture, but also the Muslim, Jewish etc. that have this type of social hierarchy, where it is the older you are, and the higher status you have. Amy Chua may exaggerate when she says Chinese children owe their parents everything, but a lot of Westerners could learn to show more respect towards the elderly people. We could learn something from each other’s way of parenting, even though they are opposite of each other.In the next part Amy Chua points out the last big difference between the two very different ways of parent ing. â€Å"Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all of their children’s own desires and preferences.† To explain the reasoning behind this statement, Amy tells a story from her own life, when her  daughter refused to play a piano piece because it was too hard. But Amy made her do it and in the end she did it and performed it perfectly. To a certain degree, it is okay for parents to make their children do something they do  not want to, because it takes practice.What you have to be careful about is keeping them away from the things they want to do. If they have a desire to something, not allowing them will only enhance that desire, and in the end that might cause some kind of drastic reaction from their part. Once again it is a really big difference between the Chinese and the Western mind-set. Western parents usually encourage their children to pursue their desires and support their decisions, whereas the Chinese parents believe they know what is best for their children.The fact that Western parents allow their children to do what they want with their lives, makes the Chinese parents think that Chinese parents care more about their children, because they won’t let them turn out badly. On the other hand, Westerners think that Chinese parents are callous people, who do not let their children be children. Amy think’s that is a misunderstanding on both sides, because as she says: â€Å"All decent parents want to do what is best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.† Amy respects both ways of parenting, but it is oblivious throughout the article that Amy Chua believes the Chinese way of parenting is the right way to go.Amy Chua’s views on parenting might be slightly provoking to a lot of people, but she argues well for the reasoning behind it. In the article it seems that there are no consequences of the Chine se parental mind-set. But there always is. There is a possibility that Amy Chua’s way of parenting might cause her children to resent her at some point, when they realize that not every parent is like that. Also undermining the creative subjects like gym and drama is not the way to go.A lot of studies show the importance of creativity in a child’s life and exercise is crucial for children as well. It is also important to remember that the social intelligence is just as important as  the logical one, and maybe more. When the children are going to job interviews etc. it is very important to be socially qualified, and they won’t learn that by being kept away from sleepovers, play dates and so on. There are definitely consequences of the Chinese way of upbringing that Amy describes, just as well as there is of the Western way.Even though Amy is an advocate of the Chinese way of parenting, she does not glorify it. She uses humour and exaggeration to engage the read er for example: â€Å"If a Chinese child gets a B – which would never happen – there would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion.† She amplifies a lot in the examples she uses in order to emphasize just how different Western and Chinese parents are. An article is not engaging if it only consists of statistics and surveys. But like Amy does use those statistics and surveys to back up her own story. By doing that, the story becomes more believable. As readers we are much more interested to hear a personal story that is part of a greater hole.Amy also engages the reader by making a bold headline: â€Å"Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior†. When we read that we instantly feel a desire to know why and which arguments she has for making such a statement.The article ends with a summary of the contrast between the Western and Chinese parental mind-set. Both are very positive, but still very different. In that way Amy enlightens how both ways of parenting can be equally as good. The message of the article is that we should learn from each other’s way of parenting, and just because one environment is different, does not mean it is not equally as loving and nurturing as the other.